Here in Australia we are about to undertake a postal vote as a referendum on legalising and approving same-sex marriage. Here’s my delayed two-bobs worth on the SSM debate… Continue reading
I’m enjoying a coffee midway into a 50km ride. It got me thinking. I ride to be healthy. I ride to maintain my middle age weight. I ride coz it’s good for me. I ride coz I can. I ride coz it’s free. I ride coz it’s freedom. There are time I don’t feel like riding. I can prepare, fuel my body, ensure my bikes in good order; yet if I don’t get out & ride it counts for nothing. Knowledge alone cannot and will not bring about change.
Academics and industry specific experts would have us believe that science, evidence and data are the essence of improvement, advancement and progression. It’s true that there is merit in monitoring, reviewing and tracking specific indicators that indeed can enhance and explain performance. Yet, motivation, persistence and sheer stubborn determination remain a mystery. The handle of hope after a fall from grace, a failure in business or relationship or the bruising of ego following a demotion or retrenchment can leave an individual questioning confidence, capacity and sense of identity and worth. Therein lies some of the mystery of being human that goes beyond measurement.
Resilience and overcoming adversity are closely aligned. The more adversity one faces the greater the capacity to overcome and build resilience. Whether it’s a teenager confronted by social exclusion; or worse, bullying; an employee constantly overlooked for promotion or those on the dating merry-go-round going on yet another possibility, there resides an ounce of hope that things will change for the better.
Mindfulness teaches us to BE HERE NOW. Accepting our circumstances, status, limitations as well as our dreams & hopes provides the platform for change. Denial of our thoughts & feelings simply perpetuates the dynamo of resistance. Acceptance & persistence facilitate change. The art of trying…again.
Anytime we embark on a new venture, whether it be in business, job, sport, hobby, study, relocation or relationship we have times we look back and pose the question “was it worth it?”
Question-asking is important. Questions help explore, unpack, uncover and dig deeper beyond what presents itself as obvious. Questions can be comforting “How are you coping?” Questions can be inquisitive “I was wondering…” Questions can be creative “If there was one thing you’d love to be doing…” Questions can be confronting “What were you thinking?” Questions can give voice to the mysterious “What the hell is going on here?” Questions can be asked of questions “Why is that important?”
I hate throwing things away – not that I hoard, but I’d rather reshape, repair or re-purpose than simply go out and replace. It’s why I love restoring old furniture – giving it new life. It’s a core value that I seek to hold true.
My fridge died. My lawn mower died. My dryer died. All within weeks of each other. There were moments of exasperation “You’ve got to be kidding me!”; “You can’t be serious!” and “WTF!?!?!”
Reality is things have a lifespan. Continue reading
2016 commenced with such high hopes, dreams and sense of belonging. At first glance life appeared great but the looming loss lurking below the fragility of the surface was soon broken like a croc lunging from the depths.
What did I learn from a year that nearly destroyed me?
Same same, but different. Recovery isn’t about recapturing what once was. Things are forever changed. Recovery is perhaps a reflection of what was, maybe a shadow overlooking new horizons or a looking-glass-lease lamenting loss…recovery is about capturing, somehow, the essence of learnings of long ago and leaning into the new. To recover is to continue towards growth from whatever seeds of destruction were sown.
As a survivor, I can say that the word “recovery” gets thrown around an awful lot in the medical community, be it in regard to surgery, mental instability and/or impairment, a plethora of varying ailments and illnesses, and of course – alcohol and illegal drug addiction; we hear the word used to describe our economic status from time to time; we hear “recovery” used as a term to describe what occurs during police raids and hostage situations – in the context of anything from tangible assets, to living, breathing human beings. We hear the word used mostly in a productive element, as opposed to a dark or terrifyingly surreal one; the sound of the word “recovery” evokes a sense of upward motion or a confirmation of something’s very existence.
For me, hearing the word so often created a void of meaning, in the human context, at least. I’ve met too…
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Emotions are neither right, nor wrong. They just are. The one truth is that we cannot deny their existence. They is what they is and that’s that.
So why is it that we so frequently look for ways to numb, discount, deny or deprive our emotions? Can we trust our feelings? Continue reading